Thoughts on Decluttering - Part Three - What If?

I really believe that most clutter is the result of fear.  From fear that we'll be caught short to fear that someone will be mad at us if we get rid of something.  So you need to try to relax.

Promise yourself forgiveness if you get rid of something today and then figure out a use for it tomorrow.

Learn the difference between needs and desires.  And then learn to be comfortable with your unfulfilled desires.

Take a trip to a second-hand store.  Go to the auction.  Be sure to leave your cash and credit cards at home!  Just look at all the stuff on offer.  Whatever you get rid of today can be found there, cheaply, tomorrow.  It's OK to let go.  You can relax.

Go for a good long walk to clear your head.  Then go home and fill another box with unnecessaries.  Think of it as buying yourself some breathing room.

 

Thoughts on Decluttering - Part Two

Yesterday, we took the first swipe at decluttering.  Now it's time to roll up our sleeves and dig a little deeper.

What about the sentimental stuff?  The family heirlooms, say?

I'm lucky to come from a long line of immigrants (apparently a certain restless spirit runs in the family), so there aren't a lot of heirlooms to worry about.  But there are a few pieces from various Nana's and the like.  I don't really want them for myself, but I don't really want to give them away.

So I'm going to pack them carefully into one or two boxes.  And then as my nieces and nephews get married, I can give them something that belonged to one of their ancestors.  I actually started doing this a few years ago and I'm amazed by how pleased they are to receive these pieces.  One memento is a wonderful thing.  It's when it becomes a houseful that it's burdensome.

And then, of course, there are the bits and pieces that accumulate in the course of a life well lived.  The cards and letters from loved ones.  The kids' artwork.  The piles and piles of sentimental stuff.

Ugh!  It can go so quickly from a nice little something that makes you smile, to an overwhelming pile of crap.  How to manage?

I have a pair of old store displays that I use to hang any cards I receive.  When they're full, it's time to cull.  The ones that have served their purpose go into recycling.  The really special ones get to stay awhile longer.

As for all the rest of it, I have a large vintage suitcase.  It's full of mementoes.  But that's it.  If I have more mementoes I want to keep, something has to come out of the suitcase and be gotten rid of.  Our sentimentality is allowed a space no larger than that.

Tough?  Sometimes.

Worth it?  Always!

Tomorrow:  What if?

Some Thoughts on Decluttering

Alan and I have to be the laziest people on earth when it comes to moving.  We'd far rather sell or give stuff away than have to go to all the trouble of packing, labelling and moving it.

Of course, some stuff is necessary to a smooth-running life.

Which begs the question: WHAT?  What stuff do I need to keep and what stuff should I get rid of?  There's an entire industry devoted to helping people answer those questions and still there are more self-storage facilities sprouting up all the time.

Here are just a few thoughts on how I deal with the stuff that clutters up my life.

Start with the easy or obvious stuff first.  For me that's things like magazines and the clothes I haven't worn this year.  It's easy to leave them alone when you've got the space to stash them.  But come moving day, I'll really resent having to cart them to the new place.  So I recycle the magazines (and vow, yet again to quit buying so many.  Sigh) and donate the clothes.

Next up?  Duplicates.  How many pens/towels/strainers do two people really need?  Out go the extras.

Slightly more difficult, but really satisfying is to get rid of the supplies for projects I haven't gotten to in years and aren't likely to in the near future.

I've sent off my paints, canvas and a thick stack of art paper to the auction.  Yes, it's good stuff.  But I really have no idea when I might get back to my painting.  And when I do, that stuff could well be too degraded to use.  I might as well sell it to someone who can put it to use immediately and then replenish as I need it.

When we sold the B & B a few years back, I got rid of all my knitting supplies.  They just took up too much space.  In the four years since, I really haven't missed them at all.  Sacrilege to some people, but it comes down to being really honest with yourself.  Will you use it, or is it just lying in wait to make you feel guilty?

If it's the latter, do yourself a favour and let it go!

Tomorrow, we get to the hard stuff - the family heirlooms and all those precious mementoes.

 

The Things We Keep

I sat on my sofa yesterday and took some pictures of my living room...

Even though we don't have any offers on the place yet, I know that eventually we'll be moving out of here and into something smaller.  So I'm starting to think about what to keep and what to let go.  And I'm not having too much trouble with the letting go part.  Except...

That fridge?  It's ridiculously heavy.  Rottenly awkward to move.  And really not the kind of thing that most normal people would want as a display piece in their living room.  I should be able to say "Buh bye".  And yet...

And yet I'm really hoping that we can find a space for it in the next place.

And a couple of strong and willing movers to get it there.

What do you have trouble letting go of?

 

Apparently, I've Hit The Big Time

I put this off as long as I could, but I've had to enable comment moderation and disallow anonymous comments on this site. 

Oh, yes, I've been spammed....

I'm not fond of comment moderation.  I like to see conversations develop between readers in the comments and that will really be slowed down with the moderation.

And I'm really sorry for the "no anonymous comments" thing.  My niece, Kathleen, holds the land speed record for forgetting passwords, so she's left me some very sweet comments anonymously.

But when it came down to it, I had to ask myself.  Do my readers really want to click here to see busty beauties?

Photo from Benny Yap's flickrstream

 

Renovation - The World's Worst Houseguest

The alternate title for this post is - There's a Bed Frame in My Kitchen - cuz, people, there's a bed frame in my kitchen!

I know I shouldn't whine.  I'm lucky to be able to do renovations.  And I could have just left well enough alone and kept the house tidy.  I mean, I did sign up for this.

But there comes a point in any renovation when I start to feel like I've been invaded by the houseguest from hell.  One who moves in, rearranges all the furniture, makes outrageous scheduling demands, while offering no help at all in meeting those demands.

And will never, ever, ever be pinned down to a departure date.

I just keep telling myself how lovely the place will look when Mr. Renovation has finally left, with grim mutterings on my part about how he will never be invited back.

Yeah, right.

Bits and Pieces Week - Hyacinths for the Soul

They were my mother's favourite flower. When we gave them to her she would always say, "Hyacinths for the Soul...."

It's from a poem:

If of thy mortal goods thou art bereft,

And from thy slender store two loaves alone to thee are left,

Sell one, and with the dole

Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul.

Moslih Eddin Saadi, Gulistan (Garden of Roses)

Just a little something to help you get through this last, longest day of February.

A Few Thoughts on The May December Home

Having finally finished my entry/stairway/upstairs hall, I can't believe how ridiculously pleased I am with it.  And it's got me to thinking about home and decor and what it's for.  Because you can always count on me to analyze something beyond the limits of human endurance...

The analogy that finally came to me and that seems to tie it all together for me is that your home should be your friend.  A good and supportive friend.  One that helps you get what you most want out of life, that makes you feel comfortable in your own skin.  One that makes you feel better after a bad day, just by being there.

And if you think about your human friends, you realize that most of them have a certain amount of style. Which is nice, which is fun.  But if that's all they have, if that's all they are, they probably won't be your best friend.  Or certainly not beyond your first big crisis.

No, your best friend, while he or she may have the world's most amazing shoe collection, or know how to order just the right wine to go with a meal, also tells you that you are amazing and if the rest of the world doesn't know that, well, the world's just stupid.

Your best friend makes you relax, just by showing up. He or she will tell you your dreams are doable.  Will make you laugh.  Will let you be goofy and sentimental when you need to.

Quirks, yes.  No one is without them.  And sometimes you have to be a little careful around them because you want to be the caring, supportive, good friend that they are to you.  But you feel, always, that whatever effort you put into the friendship comes back to you tenfold.  And in the wonderful arithmetic of friendship, you both feel that way.

So how does this translate to how you decorate your home?

Well, it needs to work for your lifestyle.  If you like to hold a lot a dinner parties, a comfortable place to dine is a good idea.  And a workable kitchen.  If you spend a lot of nights on the couch watching movies, then a comfy sofa gets more of a priority.

And so it goes.  Bit by bit, from the moment you wake up in the morning till you climb into bed at night, try to make your interactions with your home comfortable for you.

Style?  Yes, that's nice, too, in its place.  So the world's most comfortable sofa that also looks amazing in a colour you absolutely love will be a good investment for the movie fanatic, but might be less of a priority for the cook.

Have things that make you smile.  Things that speak to your heart.  Whether or not they're the latest style.

Have things that are comfortable and easy and convenient for you.  That sort of fussing over the details is worth the effort in the way it enhances your life.

And if you have to give the bedroom door an extra push to get it to close, or remember not to trip over the raised bit on the way into the office, well, everyone has their quirks, right?

 

Serendipitous Design

I woke up this morning and when I looked out the window, this is what I saw:

I said to Alan, "I choose to see this as a sign."

"That the sewer system loves us?"

"After last week, that would be a good thing."

"True enough."

Oh Be Joyful!

Whenever we go to stay with my father-in-law, at a certain point in the afternoon or early evening, he'll look at us and ask, "Is it Oh Be Joyful time?"

We always say yes.

Most people, I guess, would call it Happy Hour. But the way we play it goes beyond that. Yes, alcohol is involved, but it's not required. A drink is poured, glasses are clinked. "Oh Be Joyful," we say to each other. And we smile, and talk about the day, the world. Life.

Oh Be Joyful was a toast started by Dad's friend Reg Carter. I love it. Happy Hour ends when Happy Hour's up. Oh Be Joyful is a way of life. It calls for appreciation. Celebrating the day with the people around you. Building on that spirit day by day.

After a very tiring week, you can bet I need a little Oh Be Joyful today.

So once we're done working over at the other house, Alan and I will crack open a bottle of something or other, put out a few snacks and celebrate life.

Because, if I've learned anything in my forty-six years on this planet, it's that we don't get to keep the people that we love forever. And in the face of that, writhing in agony because our house plans have taken a detour seems like a major waste of grace.

So tonight we will raise a toast to plumbers and understanding tenants. Supportive spouses and the blogging community. Not forgetting the availability of easy credit.

Oh Be Joyful people. I'm so glad you're here!

Lest We Forget

It's Remembrance Day tomorrow. In honour of the vets, and in memory of my Dad, Clifford "Mac" McMahon, who was a navigator in the RAF during WWII:




I have not forgotten.

I will not forget.

Put Down That Duster!

Kim Mom of Seven's comment on my Lazy Sunday Links post has me thinking...

I love interior design. Decorating magazines are what I look at to relax. An inspiring interior is just that - inspiring. But I guess the question I'm asking is - what do they inspire me to do? Or to be?

What, in fact, is the point of all this design blogging that I'm doing and reading?

I don't have an answer that will sum it all up, but I have a few ideas.

That little blurb in my header: Life, Junk, Style? There's a reason that "life" comes first. Because I believe that no matter how much you enjoy decorating or style or whatever you want to call it, without the life that goes on in and around it all, the style is pretty much worthless.

Given the choice between sitting alone night after night in a perfectly decorated, perfectly staged room, or having some friends over and waking up to this the next morning, I'll choose friendship any day.

It's Looked Worse Than This!

Because life, really, is about the living.

I'll keep sharing my design/decorating ideas with anyone who's interested. But I do it from the belief that a well-designed house is meant to support your life, to make it easier, to give you the ease and confidence you need to follow your bigger dreams. A house that demands all your time and attention is a house that needs to be put back in its place.

Not the prettiest room on earth, but for two years, it was my favourite place to be.

Yes, there are sofas to choose and rooms to paint, but there are also new friends to be made and old people to be listened to and comforted.

Enjoy your decorating, but more importantly, enjoy your life.

Alan with our newest grand-niece.

Clutter

After yesterday's post, I thought I should say a word or two about clutter. Specifically, how to avoid it.

I know that owning a second-hand shop is an open invitation to clutter of all kinds taking over your life. And I will frankly admit that there are pockets of it, here and there in my house (but I'm not going to show you pictures). Getting those bits out of here is on the To Do list for September.

Here's how I keep it from raging out of control.


I Sold the World-Famous Spoon Rack!

When I bring stuff home from the auction (where things are sometimes sold in box lots), I sort through it. I have a box set up for stuff that goes back to the auction, a box for stuff that goes to Goodwill and one for stuff I'll sell on eBay. The stuff that can be sold right away gets cleaned up and put in the shop. The stuff that needs work goes down the basement.

And I think I'll make it a rule that anything that stays down there for more than a year goes back to the auction, because, clearly, I'm not the one to save it.

So far, it's all pretty easy. But how, you ask, do I keep myself from getting attached to all this great stuff?


Said Goodbye to These Cuties - I'll Find Others

Surprisingly, that's the easiest part of all for me, and not just because I'm addicted to money.

It's going to the auctions and the thrift stores and seeing just how much stuff is out there, just waiting for me to come along and claim it that lets me relax about letting it all flow out of my life. I know that I can find more cool stuff anytime I want to.

Of course, it also helps that I'm more than a little bit claustrophobic and the thought of having to share my breathing space with all this stuff is enough to set off a panic attack.


Bye-bye Trunk!

But, seriously, those of you who are addicted to vintage stuff repeat after me:

There is more cool stuff in this world than I can possibly get to. I don't have to bring it all home!

Beyond the Three R's

When I was making plans to open May December Home, I started thinking about possible slogans. The three R's were an obvious choice, since my store is all about re-use.

Then I wondered what other "re" words would be appropriate. Words like "repurpose", "rethink".

"Resolve", maybe, as in "I resolve to use fewer resources..."

But the one that I came back to over and over again was "Relax".

Now I know at first glance, it might not seem to have an environmental application. And I think I was drawn to it more because there were a spate of stories in the news about just how badly the environment is doing. New studies about climate change and the like. Fear was flowing freely.

And fear is not a good thing. It accomplishes nothing, really. So I thought, let's do what we can to fix the problem and then relax about it.

But the other thing about relaxing is that it tends to take the place of doing. And that can be very good for the environment.

Think about it. Relaxing instead of driving. Relaxing instead of firing up the lawn mower. Relaxing instead of shopping (even at funky little second-hand stores).

It's Canada Day Weekend here. A perfect time to put your feet up and relax. If anyone asks you about it, you can proudly say you're helping the environment!

Summertime and the Livin' is Second-Hand

There was a story in the Globe and Mail yesterday about home-owners who, having spent massive amounts of money on their outdoor living spaces, are now abandoning their backyards for a cleaner, more predictable life inside the house.

I couldn't help thinking they'd done it all wrong.

For one thing, they bought brand new furniture which they then felt compelled to keep clean and shiny.

But when you start out with something used, something that already shows some signs of wear, you can totally relax if it gets rained on.

I bought an (admittedly new) hammock a few years ago. I love relaxing on it on my days off. I fill it with vintage cushions, throw an old quilt on it in case the breezes turn chilly.

Our outdoor dining table is from a used-restaurant supply. The fact that it has a marble top adds to its charm and cleanability. The fact that it came with a few marks already on it means I don't have to worry about bad things happening to it.

Maybe it's because, growing up, my family spent our vacations in rented cottages, but to me summer has pleasant associations with other peoples' cast-offs.

So hit your favourite second-hand shop for your summer-living essentials, then get outside and relax!

Soap and Water - an Eco-Warrior's Tools?

As I find things to put in May December Home, I can't help wondering if most of these items don't end up in thrift stores and auctions because people don't know how or can't be bothered to clean them!

I'll bring a carload of things home, spend a couple hours scrubbing and buffing and the stuff goes from tired and sad to ready to take on a new life.

I mean, I'm glad to find these treasures - it gives me a chance to make a living doing something I really enjoy.

But how much is going to the landfill instead? How much energy and resources are being wasted for want of a bit of time and elbow grease? And how much of this tired, but not irreparably so, stuff is being discarded only to be replaced by the new and temporarily shiny, at cost of further inputs of energy and other resources?

I'll get off my soapbox now, and tell you a few tricks I've learned to get stuff clean and fresh. You don't need harsh chemicals or endless hours of toil. Plain dishsoap and, for the really stubborn bits, a "magic" cleaning sponge (Mr. Clean markets it as "Magic Eraser". Generic equivalents are available and work as well.) are all you need. A bit of time and effort and most grime will lift right off.

Stains in fabric will come out if you pour a bit of lemon juice on the stain, sprinkle it with salt and leave it out in the sunshine. Wash the piece afterwards, and you're done. My husband and I owned a Bed and Breakfast for eight years. This trick worked every time.

Musty smells in blankets or quilts that have spent too long in the attic will usually come out if you add a cup or so of vinegar to the wash water.

Beyond that, learn to love rust and a bit of flaking paint and you may never have to buy brand new again!